Most common ask is for me to “talk more”
Most common ask is for me to “talk more” because I request action, drop it half way, let the things explode and only after explain fully ;-)
This is because I hate talking a lot when I don’t need to. I prefer making good requests instead. I want you to… steer left, steer right, now… but there’s not going to be any lengthy explanation or anything. As with some of my failed relationships, some of the co-workers leaving I just make a request and ask for trust and compliance. If it cannot be provided, I let things fly on autopilot until they crash… and they always do because I’ve made my reuqest in the first place for a good reason (it’s intuition — most of the time I don’t know the good reason at the time)…
When they do crash I only then collect the aftermath, investigate and only then explain fully. In all those cases I’ve been purposely delaying the lengthy conversation if I thought that the whole thing can fly or die even before the whole request happened. I like saving time by not having to do that up-front and being specifically told/paid for investigating afterwards. It’s like being an investigator of my own intuition at someone else’s request (and expense). When a complex thing explodes there’s lot of investigating to do to discover the reasons standing behind the request that hasn’t been followed.
From this perspective it doesn’t matter if a person would comply to my request because he/she trusts it’s right or because I stop requesting and invest much time in persuading that person instead. From my perspective sheer amount of responsibility combined with a total lack of time implies I have to rely on my intuition and make those requests instead of reasoning and negotiating with the other person, whoever that other person might be: an employee, a spouse, neighbour maybe….
I discovered that most of my requests in all my relationships are followed, so per saldo it turns out good. I save heck of a time and get the results I wanted without having to explain my thinking (which always takes lot of time, even if only done in my head). Other parties are happy bunnies too, in fact otherwise if all the cannons were rolled out they would always be on a loosing position so they have to benefit more from maintaining good relatiosnhips between us. Even if every now and then a person leaves my life there’s going to be twice the people to replace the spot and no-one is irreplaceable — same applies to myself and my role in other people’s life.
But there’s more to it than just that. I hate giving all the possible explanations, share the sheer knowledge that might be standing behind my simple request in the first place. I just don’t like to explain it in words by means of talking to a person who might not even want that conversation. Of course they don’t want the whole thing to crash and burn as a result of us NOT having a lengthy conversation either but this is the dilemma other people have and only they can solve it.
So you make your mind: do you really want me to “talk more” or have you had enough of it already?